A Doctor's House
Julie Jones, MD Dec 6, 2022
This feels like it could be my house. The sights and sounds and people that fill it are similar, but it is not my house. It is the house of another doctor, who is my patient and who is dying. I go see him in his bedroom and he is noticeably worse than my last visit 2 days ago. He is minimally responsive, jaundiced, swollen and in pain; being tortured by a disease that has no business taking the life of a 39-year-old dad, husband and doctor. He has dedicated his life to trying to save people, and yet at this young age, here he is. Standing by him, his wife, easily one of the strongest women I’ve ever met. She’s managing the kids, extended family and friends and taking amazing care of her dying husband. Her nursing background clearly prepared her for this, but it’s not fair this is the way that she has to use her skills. I adjust his pain pump and we discuss other ways to optimize his comfort for the ensuing hours and (maybe) days. I say goodbye and retreat from the bedroom back into the living room with the kids. The same familiar sounds and sights envelope me again. I feel especially privileged to have taken care of this fellow doctor and to know his family, but there are a lot of questions that come with this privilege. I wonder what the kids will remember about their dad? How will this wife manage 3 kids by herself? Will Halloween ever have the same joy for them that it brings to other kids. And, I wonder how this is fair? The answer is that it’s not. I see a lot of people die in home hospice care and I feel emotional about losing a lot of my patients, but this one hits a bit too close to home.